Male rape is one of the least acknowledged forms of sexual assault. Whether heterosexual or homosexual, a lot of men do not feel comfortable and experience the same or an even greater amount of shame than female victims of rape. It is estimate that around 1 in every 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. One third of these survivors will be under the legal age of consent at the time of the assault, such is the case of an acquaintance of mine.
We were having a conversation about sex, sexual-preference and why he would never bottom. I thought it was because he didn't like the physical pain that experienced bottoms have adapted to and turned into sensations of pleasure. However, his reasoning delve deeper than that.
His pain was not only physical, but mental as he began to tell me that he was raped when he was younger. The experience was so traumatic that every time he's tried to be versatile, the emotional pain associated with his traumatic experience as a child would resurface. He never told his parents, he never told anyone except his lovers and as a man he has yet to get over the "shame" of being a male and being a victim of rape.
Rape exists in the gay community. Rape exists among gay couples, and because homosexuals are already victimized and discriminated against in society for their sexual orientation, it is often more difficult for homosexual victims of spousal or other sexual abuse to attain help.
Some of these stereotypes include the myth that “real” men are always in control,. That men are sexual beings who constantly crave sex and therefore enjoy rape, or that they were “asking for it” by being weak or acting feminine. Men with feminine characteristics are among the most targeted victims of male-on-male sexual assault. One myth surrounding male rape is that all male perpetrators are homosexual. However, the reverse is true; most male perpetrators who assault or rape other men identify as being straight.
Some of these straight men can be found in prisons, where male rape is common. An estimated 1 in 20 male prisoners will be raped and it's not all about sex. Prison rape is often used as a method of gaining or displaying power and thus does not reflect on the perpetrator or the victim's sexual orientation.
Men who are deemed weak or effeminate are some of the most targeted inside prison walls. Homosexual men are 15% more likely to be raped in prison than their heterosexual counterparts. So why isn't anyone putting a stop to male rape in prisons? It's simple; lack of staff supervision, staff failing to respond to complaints and some condoning the use of rape, and of course the overcrowding of prisons.In addition to these reasons, 50% of states in the nation do not take statistics on prison rape, with some of the general public believing that sexual assault was a price to be paid by offenders who committed a crime.
The FBI in the United States does not even include the possibility of male victims under their definition of “forcible rape.”
Because male rape is so rarely acknowledged or addressed in society, male survivors may face additional issues than female victims. One of these issues is the lack of acknowledgement of men even being capable of being raped.
If you are a man who is a survivor of rape, there are resources available to you. If know of a male who has confided in you, take their confession seriously. Support them just as you would a female friend and do not question the legitimacy of the rape.
Comments suggesting that the male survivor was lucky to have sex, or comments about the perpetrator being attractive are ignorant, insensitive and in no way acceptable.
Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project 24-Hour Hotline: 1-800-832-1901
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