#STOPFAKEVERSATILES

Oh the many faces of the versatile. Verse bottom, verse top, and the fully capable verse.

With the ratio of tops outweighing that of bottoms, and in some areas the quality of bottoms becoming ever depressing,  in a last ditch effort to latch onto someone, more and more men are willing to experiment with being versatile and the results are disastrous. 

The problem? These men aren't really versatile! 

In the past I've ran into numerous men who claimed to have been versatile, and when it was time to make love, they were on all fours with an arch so deep, even I was confused. Was this supposed to be a threesome and I didn't know it? Were we waiting on a top to join in on the fun? Was I supposed to top him first and then he would reciprocate? Maybe he just wants his ass eaten before we get down to business. 

I've heard of bottoms wanting to "experience" topping, but how are you going to be a top when you can't even keep an erection? If you're a bottom, then play your role, because two bottoms either need a top, double-headed dildo, strap-ons or something in the bedroom to get things going.

If you've been fucked more times than you've fucked,and if you don't find yourself flip-fucking on a regular, than you're either a bottom or a verse bottom.

Don't be so desperate to find companionship, that you go against your sexual preference, embarrass yourself and end up fucking up someone else's nut. 

I believe we all have the ability to be versatile, it's just a matter of how turned on we are, and how great the sexual chemistry is between two people. A top being fucked for the first time, may not want to try being verse with someone packing 10-inches of ding dong. On the flip-side, a bottom fucking for the first time might not want to top a power bottom. 

You also have those men who have a problem with being labeled a "bottom" because it is often associated with femininity, an act of being submissive. So although they may be a bottom, it makes them feel more masculine to say they are verse. It can be compared to a man who hasn't had sex with a woman in twenty years, has lost all interest in women and can't even bring himself to be turned on by one, claiming to be bisexual.

The you have the guy who claims to be versatile, but has a laundry list of ways a man should look and act in order for them to top them. The following is an exert from a guy's hookup profile, and keep in mind, he's 5'6":

 #Turn offs: bad breath, egos, wanna be thugs, fat, bad hygiene, loud, overly masculine, attitudes, immaturity, inconsistent, short (5'5 & under)......

#Turn ons: handsome, tall (5'8 & taller), intelligent, sex appeal, mature, independent, well groomed, nice smile & teeth, brown skin - dark skin, humorous, outgoing, adaptable, masculine, athletic - muscular built

# no whites....not attracted 2 them so respect it

What?!

Even if this guy met a man who was thirty inches taller than him, with Arnold Schwarzenegger type muscles, if his dick is two inches long and his stamina is every bit of 5-minutes, you mean to tell me that you're going to be satisfied because he meets the height, weight and other unimportant qualities listed? 

Nope! So throw that grocery list in the trash along with your versatile routine, because you're clearly an opportunist, and not a true versatile.

The same goes for those tops. Don't be so desperate to fuck every man that looks good. Fuck around and have me cleaning up the unthinkable because you don't know how to prepare yourself properly before anal sex. Hell fuck no! 

Soon as you put the dick in they've ran out the room quicker than Usain Bolt! Can't even get a good stroke going because you have to constantly reposition their ass because they're squirming all over the bed, screaming at the top of their lungs, busting out your eardrums, windows, setting off car alarms and waking up the entire neighborhood like you're murdering their ass. 

There just shouldn't be this much drama involved when it comes to trying to bust a nut.

If you're a top, practice makes perfect. Try taking a dildo and see how clean it comes out before even thinking about fucking with me. Learn how to relax and turn the pain into pleasure before taking the real deal.

Until you feel one-hundred percent confident and comfortable in playing either role, do not claim to be versatile. You're just a bottom with dreams, goals, ASS-pirations of being versatile, or a top whose starting from the bottom and must work his way up to being a versatile.

At the end of the night when the lights go out, your limp dick or your track running skills will reveal the truth. Giving your sexual partner a not so good story to tell, all of their friends and associates.