Keeping your relationship private is not the same thing as keeping it a secret, and just because you are "out" doesn't mean that your business should be. You ought to have pride in your partner and the love that the two of you share as it is important for others to know you are taken and one-hundred percent satisfied within your union, but to a certain extent.
Over the years it's become normal for us to share every part of our lives on social media. Whether it's because it makes people feel as though they are celebrities with their own fanbase. The intoxication of "likes" and "shares," or the sheer joy we feel when someone follows us on Vine or Twitter. Whatever it is, we have become obsessed.
In the society of today people seem to want everyone to know everything about them, what they are doing at all times and if you aren't apart of social media you are considered to be out of the norm. However, as opposed to what that new standard is, is it better to hold onto the privacy that we have been granted as Americans?
Not everyone deserves to have admittance to the internal workings of our lives, especially when it comes to family and love.
I am all about posting the occasional Facebook status when my boyfriend does something unexpected. At the same time I've mastered how to reveal just enough to keep acquaintances in the know, all while keeping virtual strangers out of the everyday happenings of my relationship. Afterall I'm not in a relationship with them, and I would prefer not to make them feel as though they are a third-party within my relationship.
A couple of posts about how extraordinary your man is can be awesome. A couple of calls to your friends when you're experiencing a difficult time in your relationship may be necessary at times. However, try to avoid the play-by-play posts.
So what are the benefits of keeping your relationship private:
We all know the scenario, you and your man breakup and all of the photos of the two of you become the perfect avenue to take out your frustration. You can't punch him in his face without going to jail or risking him whooping your ass, so you choose to rip his face into a thousand pieces. But what happens when all of those pictures are posted to your Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram? Sure you can delete them, but as we know, once a photo is released to the internet--it is out there for all of eternity.
Deleting them doesn't work, because with all of these personal Tumblrs dedicated to everything you can imagine, more than likely someone has reposted your photos and now you will have to see them for the rest of your life!
Avoid this by not posting a photo of you and your boo every hour of every day. It's cool to have a few snapshots floating around on the net, but keep them to a minimum. You aren't Kim and Kanye, and no one is going to be calling you guys to be featured on their magazine cover.
But be careful.
It's a gigantic weight lifted off your shoulders when you don't have to answer anyone's intruding questions regarding your relationship and the sometimes not so smart decisions you may make when it comes to love. Yes we all need someone to talk to, but when you confide in someone, don't be surprised or feel like it's an invasion of your privacy when they begin to question your relationship. They have been a lending ear, so now they feel as though they have some type of investment and a voice in what you should and shouldn't do.
People remember your failures. There's a requirement for couples today to impart all that they do on social media. Extravagant meals, the rec center, sentimental tweets and selfies have all become a symbol of the successes of a couple. When you have an argument, it's also common to put that on blast. Individuals who love to loath in other's unhappiness will lock onto those moments of vulnerability and immediately pass judgement on what they may or may not know to be factual.
Your friends and family are always going to have a biased opinion in favor of you, whether you are in the right or in the wrong.
These same people whom you share your emotional baggage with are also the same people you are going to expect to be happy for you when times are looking much brighter, but how can they? If you've already played a role in them developing a negative image of your partner, more than likely that image will never be erased from their minds. So when you've forgiven him for cheating, all of those who you've confided in, won't be as kind.
If you do share things with your family and friends, keep what you share to a minimum. If for some reason you desperately need your closest loved ones (in a case where you are being abused), it'd be wise to reach out to them.
Just remember that once the storm blows over, their opinion of your partner may be tainted for the durance of your relationship, so it may better to seek out a non-partial party.
When you're just starting a new relationship, it's extremely important to keep things as private as possible. New connections particularly require the time and space needed to create and develop a relationship with a strong foundation. It's tricky to do that when there are scrutinizing eyes constantly searching for the blemishes on the face of your relationship.
Keeping your love affair off of social media will ensure that no one's judgement clouds that of yours.
Most importantly, no one cares about your relationship. Unless you are a celebrity, the greater part of individuals don't give much thought into keeping an eye on relationships between ordinary people. Majority of people actually find it aggravating when others over-share and gloat about their partner/relationship.
The best decision may be to keep what happens in your relationship between you and your partner.
The objective of any relationship is to share, love and grow together, therefore the person you should be showing your praise with and venting to, should be your man. It's your admiration that he is concerned with, not that of your family, friend or acquaintances on social media. Instead of venting about your relationship via social media, you might want to be home making things right with him. As opposed to posting photos of your happy moments, you may want to be on vacation with your man, fully engaged in spending quality time with the love of your life.
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