When you're single threesomes are one of the easiest fantasies to fulfill. Imagine yourself and two other handsome men exploring one another's bodies, testing boundaries and experiencing pleasures not possible with one-on-one sex.
Threesomes become more complex and complicated when you're in a committed relationship. Some couples will only participate in scenarios where the third person is versatile, but the combinations can be endless. Top-bottom-bottom, top-verse-verse, verse-bottom-verse, verse-verse-verse, or bottom-top-top to name a few.
Threesomes are not like regular sex as they require both imagination and sensitivity. If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you're going to be doing, you need some threesome rules.
Understanding these basic threesome rules will help you avoid some common mistakes that typically prevent you from getting the most out of your menage a trois. There are various types of threesomes that you can enjoy, but we're betting that you're hoping for the type with two women, one of whom is likely your bisexual or bi-curious girlfriend or wife. What follows are the basic threesome rules on how to handle such a delectable, and potentially sticky, sexual situation:
- What are your motives
- Know the consequences
- Assess the health of you relationship
- Know the boundaries
- Everyone has a role
- Safe sex
- Penetration
- No sleepovers
- Moderation
This article outlines some important considerations to ponder if you’re opting to pursue more sexual variety with a third. Whether you are single or in a committed relationship, these rules will guide to a new experience that is sure to enlighten and heighten your senses.
WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVES
It is important to explore the reasons behind you wanting to partake in a threesome. Examine your motives closely as it is important for you to want to do it for the right reasons and avoid problems later.
If you are seeking sexual variety, your decision is consensual and you can see the experience enriching your love life, then bring the idea to your partner. However, if you are doing it to appease a partner who is pressuring you and you're afraid he may cheat on you or leave you all together if you don't expand your boundaries, then engaging in a threesome is not the best decision for you.
KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES
While this may feel like it’s taking the spontaneity and fun out of the experience, it’s always best with any decision to weigh the pros and cons before jumping into anything. Be aware of all of the negative and positives that could possibly come out of a threesome.
If you decide it’s not something you’re going to pursue, perhaps you could brainstorm other options or outlets for expressing your desires and fantasies.
ASSESS THE HEALTH OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
If you’re in a committed relationship and the two of you have decided to include a third in your bedroom activities, it’s important to evaluate the strength of your bond and commitment to each other.
While they can be fun and add some extra spice to your sex life, threesomes add a whole new dimension and dynamic that requires a solid foundation for your relationship to rest upon.
Assess your relationship’s strength. Having a three-way may be viewed as a no-strings attached arrangement, but there are always feelings involved.
Are either of you prone to jealousy or insecurity? Are you currently experiencing problems within the relationship?
Inviting a third into the mix is usually not recommended until you and your partner have some mileage under your belts as a couple and have a solid relationship in place to diffuse any of these unforeseen issues that could arise.
New relationships need time to develop and mature first and a one-on-one bond needs to be established first. You and your partner also will want to have a discussion about your beliefs and values about monogamy and non-monogamy to make sure you’re both on the same page before jumping into a threesome situation.
KNOW THE BOUNDARIES
It's important for all parties involved, especially the committed ones, to establish ground rules. With three people, all three of you are going to have your sexual boundaries and it is important to respect one another's comfort levels.
Is kissing okay? Is oral okay? Is anal penetration okay?
This is also a good time to establish safer sex guidelines so everyone is on the same page about expectations where this is concerned.
Because this may change the dynamic of your relationship forever, it is important that you focus more on your partner's limits and that you respect them above all others. It is easy for jealousy to invade even while in the act of the threesome, so always give your partner the most attention and never let them feel left out during the experience. You are supposed to be exploring this scenario as one, so be sure to never forget that.
Third parties who are involved must also set their boundaries. Discuss with both partners what you are willing to do, and what you are not willing to compromise on. You have a voice in this as it is your sex life and an experience for you as well. As stated before, always talk with both parties when they are both present, face-to-face to alleviate any miscommunication.
If you have to drink in order to have a threesome, try not to get completely wasted. Not only does alcohol affect your sexual performance, but it can also relieve you of all you inhibitions, meaning the likelihood of you doing something to disrespect the third party or even worse, your partner--may greatly increase. You don't want to wake up that next morning not remembering what you may have done to offend not one person, but two people.
Set these parameters in advance and you’ll be protecting your relationship’s best interests. Communication is key when it comes to a threesome.
EVERYONE HAS A ROLE
Now the fun begins, as the three of you get naked and partake in your ménage a trois. A successful threesome is where each of the individuals gets plenty of balanced attention and play so no one feels left out.
As difficult as it may be while you’re going at it hot and heavy, try to be mindful of equal treatment so everyone is satisfied. Unless you have made prior arrangements where one partner watches, while the other two engage in intercourse, everyone has a role and they should be playing it to the fullest.
In one-on-one sex pleasure goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both parties on and the attention will come back to you.
Keep your hands and mouth moving at all times.
SAFE SEX
Condoms are non-negotiable and should be used at all times.
If you're having intercourse with both men, you must use a separate condom with each partner. As well, if sex toys are involved, never use the same one on both partners. As a couple you are trying to experience a sexual thrill together, not take a trip to the clinic in the morning.
PENETRATION
Penetration is the physical act of bringing two bodies together to create a sense of one, an act that forms a bond between you and your partner.
If you are the one penetrating, your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the man you're having sex with, but if there is another bottom in the room, remember not to leave him out. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other bottom, look him in the eye, and talk dirty to him. Direct him, and if you are in the right position, eat him out, or suck him off while fucking the other bottom. If you're lucky, the two bottoms will be into one another and they will engage each other, as you fuck one of them.
If you have sex toys, fuck one guy, while engaging in toy play with the other.
Don't get so excited that you lose track of what's going on. All three of you should be sexually satisfied and with all of this sexual pleasure, you may climax quicker than expected. If you cum first and you cannot remain hard or get it back up, you must do everything you can to bring your two partners to orgasm.
Everyone must get a nut!
NO SLEEPOVERS
Afterward, it is okay to lie around with both parties in complete bliss. However, remember it's not a relationship. This means that the third person likely shouldn't sleep over. If you are the third party, you should be gathering your things and leaving within ten-minutes after the festivities have commenced.
Prolonging a threesome is a recipe for total disaster, as this is where feelings can develop and an emotional affair, mixed with sex can be a relationship killer.
Be reassuring to your partner. You've had fun, but it's only pleasure and experimentation. Tell him that he turns you on, that seeing him being pleasured by another man aroused you, and that while you enjoyed yourself, there's no one for you but him. He's your primary concern, so if you let him know it, you may well have more threesome adventures in the future.
MODERATION
Balanced play is ideal if you’re in a committed relationship, and your sex life should not revolve around threesomes, rather threesomes should revolve around your sex life with your partner.
The threesome should be a supplement to your erotic life so as not to interfere with your connection as a couple.
Threesomes are not for everyone, and they require everyone involved to take stock of what the experience means. Be sure that you are living in accordance with your values and beliefs and that a threesome is always approached with responsibility, integrity and an open mind.
It is essential, however, to know yourself, protect yourself and others and be communicative so if you do choose to pursue this option, you’ll be increasing the odds of the experience being a safe and enjoyable one for all involved.
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